I never thought that I would be the one to hold your head in my hands. You have always been so far away from me, a star shining in the night sky. Watching over and guiding me. And I would always watch you, trusting in you, longing for your warmth and strength and beauty. But I was never able to touch or hold you. You were my shining star and I was the little girl who gazed at the heavens and chose you for my own.

I struggled to catch you with nets and hooks and desperate pleas. Night after night I ran to the grassy meadow to stand and stare—trying every little thing I could think of to make you my own. I begged and cried and screamed at the heavens, demanding you be released from its hazy purple grasp. But it paid me no mind, and you looked patiently down at me, smiling and saying “no.” I had chosen you, therefore I was determined that you would belong to me. You were my shining star and I was the little girl who tried to capture you.

So I gave up my foolish dream, for what business does a silly little girl have in capturing the heart of a star? But I would still come by night to the field where the tall, sweet grasses grew so that I could watch you from afar. Little did I know how very far…But I had chosen you, and although I did not own a piece of your heart—a piece of your destiny—in some small sense, you did belong to me—I had chosen you, you were “my star.” So I sat at night among the reedy grasses and told you my dreams and the nightmares which haunted me, my triumphs and oh, so many follies, my past, my wishes, and every little thing. You heard it all—every last piece of my heart. You were my shining star, and I was the little girl who thought she knew what it meant to love someone.

I grew older, coming as always in the night to watch you from the earth below. But there was less fire…and there were unfathomable lies. The heavens were unending and I perceived the presence of other friends and foes who lived within that midnight curtain. But still, I had chosen you—our destinies were tied together with that single silver thread. You were my shining star, and I was the little girl whose dreams were fading fast—the little girl who was growing up.

I grew older still, and gazed at the full spread of the sky, drinking in its deeply cloaked majesty. But you remained stubbornly in the heavens, and I couldn’t help but watch you there—I watched with jealousy and admiration, with regret and…something else. I didn’t know it at the time, but that single thread of silver wishes pulled us by the throat—choking and terrorizing and making us desperate, lightheaded. We stood—you in the heavens and I on the earth—in confusion, the deep breath before the silent, unending scream. You were my shining star, and I was the little girl who no longer understood her own desires—the little girl who was growing up.

I grew up still more and came to rest in a blind and unfeeling sense of self, who no longer gazed at the heavens or searched for you among the stars in the night sky. I had become a little girl in a woman’s body—naught but a clockwork heart, incapable of bleeding. I wandered a world of towers and machines, never straying from the path my blind eyes had laid out before my feet. Until a night came when I found myself in a meadow with tall swaying grasses, blue in the moonlight—a room without a ceiling, a world without air. My eyes opened in fear as I gazed at the heavens, unprotected by the world of metal and cogs I had shut myself in for so long. I felt something hot sting my cheeks, and raised my hand to my face in surprise, only to find a mystery—liquid sorrow, sorrow I did not feel or understand. For when I had finally turned my gaze to the heavens once again, you were no longer there. The tears came, of their own accord, I wasn’t even aware of the desperation until the salt flowed onto my lips in hot rivers. Why…? What is this feeling? Little did I know that you had already become the stardust that spilled from the sky. You were my shining star that had disappeared, leaving behind naught but a whisper of a memory, and I was the little girl who shed tears without feeling sorrow—the little girl who thought that she had grown up.

The tears, the tears, the hot salty drops on my face that night—they haunted my clockwork heart. I began to return to the field—night after night after night—fleeing from my world of metal and machinery and cold, hard stone to seek the source of the tears for which I felt no pain or sorrow. I stared incessantly at the heavens hoping for some great sign or sudden spark of long-lost memory. Staring without any real hope, only the sound of my mechanical heart tick-tick-ticking.

“So you really don’t remember it?”

I spun swiftly around at the gentle mocking tone of your voice. You lounged there among the tall grasses, staring into the sky from whence you came. My eyes widened at your perfect form and mysterious presence.

“Who…who are you?”

“You really don’t remember that night so many, many years ago when you tied me to your heart with a rope twisted from a thousand unspoken hopes and dreams?”

You held up a single thread of silver, which was tied around your neck. You tugged on it and I was pulled inexplicably to my knees by some unseen force. My eyes widened in fear and lack of direction.

“You chose me. Our fates are bound together.”

I looked at you still, my clockwork heart uncomprehending.

“I am the stardust that spilled from the sky, falling to earth along with all the possibilities you hold within your heart.”

Confusion washed over and over and over me in undulating waves. But you smiled sadly as the rest of the slight silver chain materialized in a graceful circle about my neck. You rose, drawing the chain between us to yourself until I was in your arms, alien tears flooding my eyes once again, and I didn’t know why I belonged there.

“If you don’t remember,” you said softly, gently, “I’ll show you all my memories one by one, for they are your memories as well. You chose me, and for that, I have always, always loved you.”

“Y-you were…my…shining star…” I said finally, pieces of my heart—my heart of flesh and blood—returning to me, falling back into place, trickling in like a warm rain.

“Yes, and you were the little girl who gazed at the heavens and chose me for your own.”

“It was…selfish of me,” I replied, embarrassed and ashamed.

“Yes,” you smiled, teasing, “but it was right.”

“But you were a star…?”

You looked away, and for the smallest of moments held a sad, far-off look in the corner of your eyes. And then you smiled, still looking away.  “And now I am the other half of your heart.”

“So you will…stay here? With me?” I asked slowly, hardly even daring to hope.

You grinned at me—that perfect smile. “That is your wish too,” you said confidently, interpreting my newly restored heart better than even I.

“Yes. Stay with me forever,” I replied quietly, but firmly, burying the side of my face in your strong, warm shoulder. “Not in the sky, where I can only watch from afar and never ever be able to touch you or hold you, but right here with me. By my side. That is my selfish wish.”

“I know.” You laid your head on my lap and I reached out and lightly touched the silkiness of your hair, the soft skin of your cheek, the warm, strong heartbeat beneath the skin of your neck. I never would have guessed that I would catch my shining star not by nets or hooks, but through the sincere heartfelt wish of a silly little girl, through destiny.

“The stars are beautiful tonight, aren’t they?” you asked with sincerity, looking up into my face as I threaded my fingers through your hair. “Let’s look at them together until morning.”

“Mmm…” I sighed softly in reply, smiling happily.

“So I can be with you for a long time. I want to make up for all the times I couldn’t rescue you. All the times we were separated by the sky.”

“Yeah?” I asked, gently teasing. “And how long do you imagine that will take?”

You sat up, looking into my eyes with the utmost sincerity, and answered, “Until the last star falls from the sky.”

And I knew it was the truth. We owed each other a debt that could not be repaid until the end of Eternity—a good debt…a debt of our hopes and dreams, our love, our hearts. You were my shining star who forsook the heavens to rescue me from myself, and I was the little girl who gazed at the heavens and chose you for my own, the little girl who lost her heart and found it again, the little girl who wants to be with you forever.